Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
