my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
