i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
