she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
