Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
