I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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