DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
