Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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