I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
