How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
