last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
