Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
