I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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