that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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