So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
