im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
