I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
