dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
