If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
