Sponge bath it is.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
