I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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