so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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