Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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