But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
