it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
