I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Everyone says I win the strip club
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
