I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
