i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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