So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
