Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
