You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
