Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
