She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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