Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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