last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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