this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
