Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
