Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
