You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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