i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't put those talents on a resume
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
