the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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