we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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