I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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