I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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