I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
