You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
