in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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