her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
