wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
