He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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