I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
