yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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